For my sister…these area a few of her favorite things.
- Oatmeal, an old friend
- Basement: painted
- Gray leggings, gray sweater, Wellington boots
- Raincoat shopping with, and for, my sissy
- Three bossy 1-year-olds, two strollers, one bag of veggie sticks
- MyFitnessPal App
- This story via NPR’s Story of the Day podcast
- Dusty old chandelier sold on Craigslist
- Steamed broccoli, sauteed mushrooms, and arrabiata sauce
- The Americans on DVR
- An anonymous Tumblr message that was so kind/articulate/awesome that my eyes welled right up
- 30 pages down, hundreds to go (#memoir)
- Everything outside is blooming, yet I can still see my breath
Tulips for my sister…Happy closing day!
(Related: I will be babysitting a total of three 1-year-olds. Pray for me)
Stepping, stumbling, and crumbling crackers all over me
Pushing toys, pushing each other over, and shoving for prime seating on my lap.
Trying to keep three sippy cups separate? IMPOSSIBLE.
Changing diapers, changing clothes, and crossing paths as they laugh maniacally
and run tiny circles around me
and spit out cookies on my lap
and scream ‘Baaaa!’ to no one in particular
and clap their hands when I grin
and wave bye-bye so proudly
Good thing those dimpled smiles are my Kryptonite.
(sister & fam are #moving right along)
photo sharyn cairns
For my sister. Sweet just like you.
- Neighborhood strolls, taking in this weird combo of sunshine + bitter cold
- Size upgrade for my Starbucks skinny latte
- Elbow patches on Wells’ old man cardigan
- Thick J.Crew socks, leggings, sweater, and a long t-shirt I tried to pass off as a tunic
- Mouthing the word ‘WOW’ as I viewed Pantone Metal Storage boxes and Prada sandals in store windows
- March Madness reaching a loud frenzy in this house- one of my brackets had New Mexico going pretty far. *GONG*
- New brakes on Fitz’s car from that spot in the city with the best prices and service
- Chats with sister about walks at Botanic Gardens and playdates at Kohl’s Children’s Museum
- Cucumber wasabi dressing on our dinner salad
- Matzo toffee treats from Foodstuffs
- Fire in the fireplace (TBD)
I hope your Friday is fantastic!
I’m drinking some night-time medicinal concoction, laying on the floor of my studio, and cranking away at various written things. Kind of like this:
I am still sniffling but optimism is gaining. Face washed, teeth unbrushed. Porch light on. At once…all things are still.
A 1-year-old sleeps upstairs, splayed out like a starfish. He is still a culinary wizard; waving a plastic spatula around as a tiny scepter as he toddles across the floor. He is like a miniature, grumpy old man, grunting and shrieking during meals demanding this, that, or MORE CHEESE.
A husband catches up on one of the five European soccer matches he has on DVR. “I have a meeting tomorrow at 10am,” he says. “In Nebraska.” A black-and-white dog snores while nuzzled against his legs.
The vet is polite on the phone. Candid, funny. He cares so much it’s refreshing.
Wonder is out and about, with snowflakes swirling and twirling. Odd to witness but I am secretly glad winter is lingering.
A kind text reinforces that thank-you notes are overrated and bad for the environment.
A sister continues to be loved and inspired, letting her hopes run wildly brilliant on an unorthodox piece of real estate.
I see and I seek, both of what I know and what I hope to know someday.
Energy continues to flow, we breathe in and out.
All things are still.
*good night, big dreams*
Peonies for my sister…her favorite flora.
She is my favorite and she received some fabulous news today. So cheers and hugs and all things joyous for that!
In cleaning out my inbox, I came across an email I wrote to my sister, Erin, approximately 1 week after I gave birth to Wells. Back story: Erin and I were both pregnant at the exact same time (a very cool coincidence; we dubbed ourselves “Pregnant Partners in Crime”).
I did not know the sex of my baby, Erin knew that she was carrying twin boys (!). Our pregnancies were 5 weeks apart so we went through nearly every milestone together (ultrasounds, anatomy scans, glucose tests, etc). I went into labor on Valentine’s Day and gave birth at 1:35am on Feb. 15th. My sister had a scheduled c-section for March 1st. I wrote the email below on Feb. 21st, after being a mom for only 6 days:
Sharing in our pregnancies these past 9-ish months will go down in history as some of my favorite ‘sister memories’ of us. We have shared in all of the highs, lows, quirks, laughs, strange, weird, and wonderful parts of growing babies…this was an experience I will never, ever forget.
And just to keep it lighthearted (can you tell that my emotions are regulating?!!), I thought you might enjoy the following:
-My belly button sucked back in and is back to being an innie! Weird…I swear it did this in the past 24-hours.-I recently experienced the art form of ‘snissing’- I sneezed for the first time since giving birth and thought for sure I had wet my pants.-I have no idea how we would survive without the Boppy newborn lounger.
-I have already gone through an entire box of HUGE pads in just 6 days…that is how much one leaks after giving birth. CRAZY. AND SEXY!-Bring nursing bras or at least a nursing camisole to the hospital. Your boobs will be out 24/7…they need to dry out after nursing and nurses will be watching/helping you breastfeed.-If you can, bring your pillow to the hospital…having something familiar is so important and it will be way more comfortable then what the hospital has.-After about 96 attempts that sucked, I have finally mastered the art of the baby swaddle with Aden & Anais blankets…and HOLY SHIT it totally works. I swaddled Wells last night and for the first time, he slept between his 1am and 5am feedings. I woke up feeling like Superwoman- who knew that 4 hours of sleep would be enough to sustain me?! As Dad told me yesterday, as a parent I will now realize how very little it takes for me to survive and be efficient.-I LOVE breastfeeding- it is remarkable and the bonding is insane. THey say your body releases oxtocin when you nurse, which is the equivalent feeling of falling in love (total euphoria). However, I HATE pumping. The noise alone will make you want to jump out a window- it helps to distract yourself. I play around on my iPhone, check emails, Words with Friends, and just recently (when I learned to balance the cups with my forearms) started making a calls.
It is hard for me to describe the emotional roller coaster I have been on since having a baby….hormones are out of control!!! There is an overwhelming amount of love in my heart…and absolute fear of the unknown (What if someone or something hurts Wells? What if I let him down? What if Theo doesn’t adjust okay? Will Fitz and I still have the bond that we’ve always had?). I find myself crying all the time over the littlest things (a commercial! an old photo! the way Theo is sleeping!), but it’s only because my hormones are readjusting, and my heart is opening up to a new little man that I’m going to raise and care for, which is a huge, daunting responsibility. Don’t be alarmed if at times you are sad, worried, or even a tad depressed…it is normal as you have been though a life changing event. Your moods will shift and although you will cry a lot, you will feel moments of absolute bliss that can only be described as heavenly. I disclose all of this to you because it’s hard to put into words what childbirth does to you (beyond the physical). From now on you will look at your life completely different knowing that it’s not just you, and it’s not just you and your husband…you have a little family to raise in this crazy world.
Okay, now that I have written a novel, I will sign off. But again, know that I love you and miss you and think about all of you guys on the regular. Our little boys will take on the world together, and how lucky are we to soon resume positions as ‘Mama Partners in Crime’?!