Shall we dream?
If I were to spill out my dreams, like emptying a barrel of gathered raindrops, here is what they would be…
I dream of bylines and hard cover books. The kind that have titles and images that resonate with men and women, that make strangers tap shoulders and ask, “Pardon me, what’s that you’re reading?”
I dream of book tours. Of sleepless, endless work that sits me with other writers and curious beings who are eager and inquisitive. I love a good writer’s workshop. If I can guide, i hope to guide. If I can encourage, I hope my advice soars them high on clouds that sends their dreams higher than ever anticipated. Mostly, I hope to just listen.
I dream of grabbing the check and telling my husband, “I got this.” I dream of a time when he doesn’t have to carry such a heavy load of work, though I know he does so gladly. I dream of wine country, charcoal grills, and walks with children. I dream of dog snuggles and warm blankets in front of a cackling fireplace. I dream of frequenting airports and walking through places that stir my comforts and widen my eyes. I dream of meals prepared with great love and a big table with loud, laughing voices.
I dream of health and strength. I have visions of happy 5k races with cold bottles of water. I dream of a library not just down the street, but in our home. I dream of gardens and vegetables and a whole lot of dark chocolate.
I dream that I speak passable French and make impeccable macarons, though I loathe baking so I may just keep buying the macarons.
I dream of a full, round belly that comes with pregnancy and I dream that siblings will create a blessed chaos in our home.
I dream of being open to more possibilities and loosening my grip on stubborn tendencies.
I dream of typical, usual every day. I dream of small, tiny moments that create big moments that create memories. I dream of high-resolution photographs that show that I was there, in that moment, and that I was truly living. I dream of art and all its complexities…I dream that painting and writing and reading and styling are a means of self-expression and self-gratitude.
I dream so grand and hope for so much. I dream that one day these will no longer be dreams, but simply be my reality.
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
I’m just going to put this right here.
You da, you da best
I just have to say that Tumblr is freaking awesome.
Awesome for sending me into the lives of genuinely cool people.
Awesome for giving me a push over a wall that was building for quite awhile.
Awesome for making me laugh, shriek, and cry.
Awesome for pushing me see the world in a broader, better perspective.
Awesome for listening more, learning more.
Awesome for letting me document my life, right here on this page.
Awesome for helping navigate the unreal journey of parenting.
Awesome for inspiration, whether it be for my house, closet, or soul.
Awesome for introducing intelligent, kick-ass women to my dashboard.
Awesome for showing me stories of struggle, bliss, tragedy, victory, and love.
Most of all, love.
I was in a real funk today (I would describe my mood as ‘properly lousy’). And then I received a fantastic message…from someone who had been drawing inspiration from ME (seriously, WHAT?!). I basically stopped feeling sorry for myself and got right back on that horse (or in this case, the laptop).
ONWARD to big dreams.
On Dreams & Chasing Them
When 2013 kicked off, I made a promise on my chalkboard wall that this would be the year of BIG DREAMS.
So…what does that mean exactly?
I want to say YES more.
I want to finally learn how to play the guitar.
I want to eat Indian food.
I want to shut the f*ck up and listen more often.
I want to write every single day.
I want to walk around new cities.
I want to kick up my feet in the wide open space of nature.
I want to meet new people and learn about their lives.
I want to have more meaningful time with my girlfriends.
I want to write long thank you notes.
I want our home to be a reflection of who we are.
I want my son to be game for adventures.
I want to read more books.
I want to polish up on etiquette.
I want to have fun with fashion.
I want to give and give and give to those who need.
I want to dole out compliments every day.
I want to watch less tv.
I want to view more art.
I want to be less judgmental.
I want to be published.
I want to fly kites with Wells.
I want to feel pure exhilaration.
I want to swap the words “I wish” for “I will.”
Last night I decided to start chasing these dreams.
I began outlining a children’s book inspired by a photograph that I snapped last spring:
(Yes, this is me without makeup. Please be kind…especially regarding my eyebrows)
On this day Wells and I were laying around on a blanket and staring up at the tall trees with their bright green leaves. It was unseasonably warm and still. And I heard him babble. For the first time. Wells was marveling at moving clouds, cerulean skies, and chirping birds. Although a bit delirious from sleep deprivation, I was in complete awe of his sounds. In that moment, I felt him grow up. I witnessed a tiny part of his life in which he was discovering this huge, gorgeous world, and it was one of the most magnificent things I had ever experienced.
I think about that moment often and have felt for a long time that there is a story begging to be told. A children’s story, so that the magic of moments like this do not just pass by. So I began outlining. And although it’s just the beginning, it feels really good, and I can’t wait to keep going with it.
Did I ever see myself as a writer of children’s books?
HELL TO THE NO.
I’m much more comfortable writing nonfiction, poetry, etc.
But I like the fact that there were a lot of parts of my life that I never saw coming. I’ve always felt I was a writer who writes: here and everywhere else. So that’s what I stand by. I have a degree in Journalism and I’ve loved writing since I could hold a pencil. It’s not limited to one category, but encompasses many. Blogging is the icing on the cake (and I really, really love cake).
I’m also hoping to encourage others to chase with me, as I’m downright begging my sister to illustrate this book- she keeps saying no, that it just isn’t her thing. But I KNOW she would be amazing, and it would be a great challenge.
So…are you with me? Anyone else up for a chase in 2013?
Spent a good portion of my day at the vet with Theo.
Picked up a few extra groceries in anticipation of snowfall tomorrow (gnocchi, cheese, eggs).
Found a tv show that makes fun of The Bachelor and features Michael Ian Black.
New wallet needed, lots of online browsing going on.
So I’ll sign off with what I say to Wells as I put him to bed:
Good night, big dreams
Reblogged for my sister…sending good thoughts + hugs + real estate dreams.